Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work.
She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.
These are Brene’s tips for speaking. Important to remember.
My five rules for speaking:
1. Generosity. Bring all you have. It’s ok to be brave and afraid at the same time.
2. Gratitude. Remember they’re giving you their most precious resource: TIME!
3. Connect. It’s all about collective connection. Look into their eyes.
4. Service. It’s not about you. Stop doing it if/when it becomes about you.
5. Never take yourself too seriously. Laugh, learn, keep it real.
Five minutes before I went on stage for SXSW, I found Charlie’s stick-on mustache in my jacket pocket. It was such a good reminder.
BTS Green Room 📷 by Aaron ❤️
Jane Faraco’s memoir, SURVIVOR, tells the story of her life as a child of an Irish American, serious binge drinker and a very chilly, highly aristocratic mother who had very little time or interest in her child.
Having had little nurturing and less in the way of guidance, Jane was confused about who she was or about how to be. An attraction for the other girls overwhelmed her. The shame and denial of it, brought it to her knees.
Overeating soothed the pain for awhile. Dramamine at eight, amphetamines at twelve, then, later, pot and alcohol.
The addiction was always to more, more of everything and to serious partying.
Roles were played, mistakes were made, disasters happened, times were high – too high.
When the pain was so great, she thought she might never climb out of it she found a recovery group. And it was there, in those humble rooms that she found the love and nurturing she had always longed for, who she was underneath it all and in the end, the love and the willingness to help others.
I have worked with authors who nearly gave up on their writing… all because of the damage done by one voice. Someone who spoke destructively about their work.
Every one of us has the voice of The Critic and The Judge already speaking inside us. These are deadly voices, really, that chip away at… or bludgeon… us from the inside over years and years. A negative word from someone outside our heads can be more destructive than the person speaking even knows.
I have found veins of pure gold in the drafted work of writers who all but gave up on their stories and memoirs, and helped them finish and deliver their gift to the reading public.
If you’re a person who has been disheartened or wrecked by the voices of critics and judges – inner and outer:
Turn down the volume. Unless they’re trained and constructive, turn those voices off. (Commenting on everything that’s in need of fixing without offering solutions is not constructive.)
Remember that few are trained in the art of constructive criticism and can comment objectively. Most will tell you more about themselves than about your work. (“I didn’t like it” is not a critique.)
Believe the impulse that drove you to write in the first place is the correct one to listen to. Keep going.
Your work does have an appreciative reading audience waiting for it, and you can find it. The very thing one person doesn’t like about your work, the next person will * love * about it.
Choose as your inner voice that of Winston Churchill, who claimed a WWII victory for England despite horrific attacks,
“NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER QUIT.”
I don’t think it can be done.
The world is sacred.
It can’t be improved.
If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.
There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.
The Master sees things as they
This beautiful writing Bi-Lo Zoo may have at one time been true. What do you think?